In which Snape's Ridiculorum presents previously classified information about flying pigs.
Corps Commissary
Have a look at our educational diagrams,
recruiting materials, and Public Service Information!
How did pig flight originally come about?
Corps Historian J.Snape says "The spontaneous emergence of wings on certain pigs was first studied in the 1400s by Leonardo. But ancient records, thousands of years older, link the rise of pig flight to their consumption of wildly nutritious native corn from the Americas. When coupled with pigs' inherent curiosity and perseverence to evolve, the sprouting of dragonfly-like wings led to the dawn of airborne pigs."
The Pig Air Corps was only organized within the last 200 years. In the early 1800s, several amateur pig aviators met by accident in Central America, grounded in the same field due to foul weather. Their conversations led to the first ideas of an interconnected service network of pig flyers. Today, the Corps spans the globe, with countless international aviators and hidden bases.
About the Corps
Service Branches
CADET
While undergoing our rigorous training, new recruits will improve their toughness, ability to adjust to new situations, bond with fellow cadets, and become confident dynamic flyers.
AIR PATROL
Patrol pigs maintain the order, safety, and efficiency of the airspace. They help resolve disagreements between pigs and other aviators and other species.
RECON
Reconaissance delves out into the less-known air spaces, exploring to see who lives there, mapping new terrain and landmarks, and reporting back to HQ.
QUARTERMASTER
All branches and outposts of service pigs require food. The Air Corps also supplies food to areas of drought, flooding, blizzard, or other natural conditions that threaten to starve the local population.
AIR CARGOLIFT
Everyone calls Air Cargo when something big needs to happen. Patrol wants to install a log bridge over a creek. Search and Rescue needs to airlift a raccoon out of a fire zone. Recruitment has a reluctant pig who won't leave home ... just kidding! The Corps only accepts willing recruits!
SEARCH AND RESCUE
This elite branch of highly-trained service pigs goes out to aid those animals in trouble, whether they are lost in unfamiliar terrain, caught in floods or forest fires, hurt in accidents, or wander away.
RECRUITMENT
The Corps is always looking for new potential pig aviators, and the Recruiters work tirelessly to meet and inspire the next class of applicants.
COVERT OPS
Working behind the scenes is the mysterious Covert Ops service. They disappear for weeks at a time, on missions that no one hears about. Rumors tell of them freeing animals from oppressive farm conditions, forcing a change in leadership at the Department of Agriculture, or rappelling into the corporate HQs of experimental labs to free the inmates.
Basic Ground Training
Aviators' wings do not emerge until stimulated by a healthy diet of heirloom corn and
a regimen of rigorous training exercises, which invigorate the muscles required for flying.
High Velocity Sprinting
A powerful sprint is necessary for achieving takeoff speed and a smooth, controlled landing.
EQUIPMENT
Create a Triangle of Speed between your food trough, sty or shed, and a chosen family member.
BASIC TRAINING
Sprint this path as fast as possible at least every 15 minutes.
ADVANCED TRAINING
Avoid collisions for the entire sprint.
Practice Jumps
Jumps are short departures from the powerful pull of Earth's gravity.
EQUIPMENT
Create a simple ramp, using common items such as dirt, pieces
of wood, or a row of relatives (in ascending order of size).
BASIC TRAINING
Sprint up the ramp and into the air, staying off the ground as long as possible.
ADVANCED TRAINING
Land where you intend, and remain on your feet. Avoid collisions.
Balance
Balance control is crucial for basic walking (not covered here), sprinting, jumps, and
avoiding collisions.
EQUIPMENT
A simple fence rail should be fine.
BASIC TRAINING
Walk the full rail length without falling off. (Note that falling is not the same as flying.)
ADVANCED TRAINING
Use a ramp to JUMP onto the fence rail, then SPRINT its full length without falls or collisions.
Testimonials
"The training was tough but I noticed results within three weeks. The Pig Air Corps recruited me within the next month!"
Mai (Thai Moodum)
Command Team
Behold our leaders! They are staunch and bold, brave and brilliant.
BACK ROW
Trent (Patrol), Lois (Training), Inga (Covert Ops), Nicholas (Recruiting)
MIDDLE ROW
Robert (Ground Command), Patty (Quartermaster), Edgar (Air Cargo), Ruth (Search & Rescue)
FRONT ROW
Cynthia (Air Command), Seth (Air Wing A Command), Fernando (Air Wing B Command)
Contact Information
For any questions about the Pig Air Corps, please submit the form below. We will get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you for your interest in Pig Aviation!
– Jason Snape, Corps Historian